Today we had our first real injury.  Lil T with his daredevil self.  He is such a bundle of energy.  So a couple weeks ago I posted about the lil daredevil in one of the Wordless Wednesday posts.  Everyone that commented seemed very concerned as I was but what could I do.  I mean I would have had to take away all his larger toys because he climbs on everything.  He is so strong that even some of his shorter toys he would stand on and pull himself up.  So anyways, he was climbing on the window ledge again today and I was watching him lower himself to the storage tote he used to climb up and he seemed to have had it. He was making his way down without any problems.  Then with the blink of an eye he slipped I guess is what you could say he did.  He fell all the way to the ground.

It seemed to happen in slow motion, I can still see it replay in my head.  He hit his head on the window ledge.  Well not his head but his chin.  I figured it was going to produce some blood.  I am however, very weak when it comes to cuts and blood.  So I swooped him up and held him to stop crying.  I gathered myself and my thoughts and feelings and decided I needed to look to make sure it wasn’t an emergency room situation.  Well, it wasn’t an emergency room situation but he definitely did a number on his chin, it kinda split open.  It wasn’t very big but it was deep.  There wasn’t even that much blood.

The pic isn’t very clear but you can see the cut.  Poor baby, I feel so bad for him!

So we sat on the couch so I could comfort him and hold some paper towel on his  chin and he was just, I think, in shock.  I gave him some children’s Tylenol to help with the pain.  Within 30 min he was running around the living room again, trying to climb on things.  By the end of the day he didn’t have much of anything to play with since I kept taking it away.  I would take one thing away and he would run straight to the next and try and climb on it.

Now I am going to have this overpowering paranoia that he is going to hurt himself every step he takes.  I just can’t stop him.  I know people out there are saying, “well of course you can you’re his mother” but seriously he climbs on the couch, his toys and all the furniture.  He is exhausting.  LOL!

Although it was  EXTREMELY unproductive I feel overwhelmed with my day.

Well it started off ok, woke up as usual around 8.  Made some java, filled Bubby’s sippy cup and made a bottle for Bel.  The whole house was awake before too long.  I made some homemade pancakes, they were delicious if I may say so myself!

Well then it started to get a little hairy, without going in to full detail, my brother and I got in to a little disagreement.  Nicki was supposed to spend the night there tonight, he made it seem like he had something else going on, I made it clear of my ground rules and requested he abide by them. There was a little more to it but I will refrain from going in to detail.  I didn’t however, want to be a “mean mom” today so I let Nicki spend the night at his house anyway.  His daughter was there for the weekend and Nicki really wanted to go.

So again, another Saturday I am alone.  Tony is closing and so it’s just me and the lil ones.  Most days I spend in the living room with them, playing and watching TV.  However, the last 2 days or so I have had some crafting I needed to get done so I was in my craft room, it connects to the living room and is gated off.  I’m not far from the kids but I guess since my butt was not planted on the couch, they freaked out.  OMG they screamed at me most of the day.  I had a headache already and to top, getting in an argument with my brother and 2 lil ones SCREAMING at me….it all didn’t make my head feel better.

Finally nap time, couldn’t have come any faster.  Well yesterday I put Bubby to nap with just a t-shirt and diaper on.  BIG HUGE mistake.  He decided it was necessary to remove his POOPY diaper and rub his POOPY butt all over his carpet.  WTH! Thankfully Nicki was home yesterday so she could watch the kids while I cleaned the SHIT off his carpet and give him a good scrubbin’!

Fast forward, now today I thought I was going to be smarter than the lil booger.  I will put a onesie on him.  All snapped up and everything.  Did that stop him, HELL NO it didn’t!  Another day with poop smeared carpet and the lil one running around his room naked.  Today, unfortunately, Nicki was not home.  Made cleaning rough since the lil ones just screamed at me from the living room.

Not only was I knuckle deep in poop trying to clean, I get a knock at my door.  I had no intentions of answering it because I was busy.  Well whoever was at the door was determined to get me to answer.  I stomp to the door and answer it.  There stands a trashy looking, pierced face lady (well she was probably mid 30′s).  She tells me she is the old tenant that used to live here.  She asked if she had gotten any packages delivered via UPS.  I told her I had not.  She then felt it necessary to tell me how bad our landlord is and to be careful, that he screwed her out of a bunch of money.

I guess she was doing a lease option on the house.  ( We heard the whole story from our landlord and neighbors) I guess they put a bunch down but got made because the guy was asking for about 55k more for the house than he paid.  She said the garage floods when there is a bad rain.  Well for starters on that, the gutter drain spout was pointed directly at the garage.  I can see why it would get some water in there.  She also said she paid more for rent than we do.  Now I didn’t tell her what we paid but she told us what she paid.  When you do a lease option, your monthly rent is usually a little more than a normal rent would be.

She also wanted to say that she replaced the pump for the pool.  Again, with a lease option you are pretty much responsible for home repairs and such.  She also said the appliances in the kitchen broke and she had to beg and plead for the nice appliances that we have.  They are nice, stainless steel and black.  The pisser is that she let her kids run the house and they wrote all over the nice appliances.

The neighbors also told us that they were drugs dealers, scamming the government for disability payments.  That’s a whole different story.  In addition they let their kids roam the neighborhood all hours of the day and night too.

So basically I had a hard time not telling her how I felt about the situation.  I refrained with the hopes she would leave sooner than later.

The kids continued to scream at me the rest of the day.  Made some Ramen and ate some Doritos.  I put the kids to bed at 9:30 and have been alone in the quiet house since.  It is almost 1am and Tony is still not home from work.  I did however, finally finish my crafting I needed to get done.

I am about to go watch a little TV and try to fall asleep.

I love the UPS and FedEx people.  I have been getting a lot of stuff lately, between review products, things I’ve ordered from Stampin’ UP! and other fun stuff I’ve ordered online.

Today, both the FedEx and UPS trucks graced me with their presence.  Both bearing gifts, great gifts.  I received a package from Stampin’ UP! with a bunch of great stuff.  Mostly more paper to get all my paper kits together.  Don’t forget to check ArtfulDelight out sometime.  We also received a package with the printer in it we ordered.

It’s an All-In-One from HP.  We ordered it on Monday from Amazon.com.

We ordered it on Monday from Amazon and we got it really fast, it came just 4 days later.

As Nicki gets older she needs a printer/copier for projects at school.  With my business I am starting I need to print labels and shipping info.  I am so totally excited.

As I sit here on my front porch with my children, Isabel is in her walker and Bubby in the sandbox, I see the 5 yr old girl from down the street walk by.  I look down at her house to see if an adult is outside and I see no one.

This little girl is roaming the neighborhood unsupervised.  She is not wearing any shoes and she is decently far from home.

Is that bad parenting, I believe it to be.  Out job as parents is to keep our children safe and that in my opinion is just negligence.  As a parent we are required to keep out children safe, teach them right from wrong and steer them down the right path hoping they continue through life making the best decisions to better themselves.

How do you justify letting your 5 yr old roam the streets alone.  She lives across the street and down 4 houses  She is always crossing the street.  Most people drive slow but sometimes you get that occasional asshole that thinks they are driving the Indy 500.  I just don’t get it.  I worry about Nicki when she is outside too long and I haven’t see her or heard from her, she is almost 12.  I hope for the sake of that lil girl that she grows up to be a well behaved individual.

….no more cinnamon sugar toast for me.  I had an intense sweet tooth this morning and my favorite(one of my favorites)morning sweet eat is cinnamon sugar toast.  OMG it is scrum-diddly-umptious!  Well I made a few pieces thinking Bubby would help me eat the toast but as much as he loved it, I ended up eating an ass-load of it.  I felt so sick to my stomach when I was done.  What was I thinking.

See that’s my problem with my weight loss or lack thereof, most trainers and doctors want to say eating for most people is an emotional thing.  Over eating, overweight people eat like that because of deep down emotional issues in their life.  Well not me, dammit, I overeat because food is delicious.

I need to train my brain to think of food as fuel.  I need it to make it through the day.  Maybe then I won’t want to devour all foods that are yummy.  Ice cream is one of my weaknesses, so is cheese.

If I was stranded on a desert island and I could only chose 3 things to bring (to eat), it would be cheese, french bread and butter.  I would eat the cheese by itself and butter the shit out of the french bread.

Am I an emotional wreck, do I blame my overeating on tragedies that happened in my life, not even close…..I just LOVE food.

Being a parent is a tough job.  Your responsibility is to take this fragile, impressionable, little life and teach them right from wrong and hope they grow up to be an outstanding individual.

I was young when I had my daughter.  Would I go back and change things that happened in my life.  For the most part no, I would never have changed the decision to keep my daughter.  I was 18 and not married.  Nicki’s dad was not the man of my dreams.  He didn’t have all the qualities of a wonderful husband and father.  I thought I would one day marry him but not until after I had my daughter.  Being old fashioned, my daughter’s grandma thought we needed to be married before I delivered Nicki.  So I was about 5 months pregnant and getting married.  It was a small wedding.  2 short years later, separated.  I didn’t like the path my life was going, I wanted more for my child.

Over the years I have made some really bad decisions.  Bad relationship decisions.  I have basically been in a relationship non-stop since I was 16.  I didn’t know what it was like to be alone.  To just be “Leeanne”.  It was always Leeanne and so and so.

Just following the split from Nicki’s dad I was with a man that I later found out was addicted to drugs.  I stayed in the relationship for several years.  I thought I needed to be the “supportive” girlfriend and he refused to get better.  I finally decided I again needed something more for myself and my daughter.

I shortly thereafter moved to Florida.  I dated for several months when I first settled in.  It was actually only about 2-3 months before I settled with one person and we became boyfriend/girlfriend.  He was not very affectionate.  He cheated on me 3 months in to the relationship.  I forgave that one time.  Several months later he did it again.  I moved out but he never went away.  He wanted his cake and eat it too.  He wanted to fool around by day and have somewhere to come home too and at night.  After quite a while of that, I had enough.  When I had official confirmation that he had in fact been with another girl I was done.  Not to mention, around that time, we had gotten in to a few physical altercations.  I refused to have my daughter live in those conditions.  Some of the reasons I stayed with the men for as long as I did, was for financial reasons.  I didn’t make enough to support my daughter on my own.  I finally decided I needed to take on more jobs to support us.  I worked 3 jobs, I was never home.  I did it for my daughter.  Physically I had nowhere to go, other than living on my own.  No family.

3 1/2 years ago a miracle happened, I met Tony.  He is the most amazing and wonderful man.  He loves me and loves our children, he has accepted Nicki and thinks of her as his own.

Nicki is now hitting pre-teen age.  I feel she has a lot of emotions running through her.  Her father tried to be a part of her life but after YEARS of coming in and out of her life and having to mend her broken heart, I decided it’s all or nothing.  He is either an ACTIVE part of her life or none at all.  How many times can a mother answer the question: “Mommy, why does my daddy not call me, why does my daddy not love me”.  He only financially supported her for a couple years just after the separation but it was never consistent income.

So for years now, he has not been a part of her life.  She has remained in contact with her grandma and grandpa and other extended family.  Her father has another child (going to be 5 or 6 yrs old).

Did I make the right decision to remove him from the picture all together or should I have kept him involved on his terms, when he had a chance to call….when he would remember?

We have been having some trouble over the last 2 yrs.  I think it is her siblings.  She sees Tony with the lil ones and she thinks of her dad.  I think she wishes she had that bond.  Did I make the right decision giving her a cell phone at such an early age (she has had one for about 5 yrs now).  Did I make the right decision to let her use spray paint. We are a very open family.  We talk about sex, we curse….we have very open conversations with our children( well just Nicki for now, the lil ones don’t talk yet).

Am I a bad parent, are you going to judge me and think I am raising my kids wrong?  Because I was raised very “straight laced” .  I never had the “birds and the bees talk”.  Sex was a very uncomfortable topic, cursing that never happened.  I still to this day if I were to talk to my dad, not curse.  Not even SHIT or DAMN. Tony had a little bit of a different upbringing, a more open relationship with his dad.

Here’s the difference.  I don’t have ANY relationship with my father, I got pregnant and was having unprotected sex at an early age.  I curse like a truck driver.

Tony waited longer to have sex and still has a great relationship with his dad.  They may not talk all the time but they love each other greatly.  I felt very sheltered growing up.  It wasn’t until I moved on my own that I really learned “the facts of life”.

I want my kids to know they are always welcome in my home.  Once I moved out of my house, I wasn’t welcome back.  I want them to feel comfortable coming to me about sex and drugs and relationships.  I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable around me.  My dad and step-mom didn’t show much affection.  Yeah they kissed and hugged but I don’t remember it being very PASSIONATE. Not that I wanted them to make-out in front of me but a little more than a peck and a brief hug.

So my point is, whose parenting is right.  Everyone has a different technique and depending on how they act on it and “mold” their children will determine how their children “run” with the knowledge given.  Ya know?

When my brother comes over, he is surprised at what I let me children do and play with.  My son plays with old electronics, power tools and he climbs on window ledges and various toys.  I let Nicki have a little more freedom than most parents let their 12 yr old have.  I let Isabel be independent. She can hold her own bottle so I let he lay and feed herself.  I let her crawl on the ground and interact with her brother.  When she cries I don’t drop what I am doing and run to her side.

I have been decently reserved in some of my posts because I was afraid of being judged.  But each person was raised different and they have opinions and ideas of what is perfect parenting.  My daughter is a good example, she is very well behaved and she knows not to curse and yet she is appropriately educated in “life”.  At first impression, people have taken me for a very “straight laced” parent.

So what is your definition of perfect parenting?

What is a Good Parent

by Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M.Ed., C.Psych.Assoc.

Some people think that a good parent is someone who has “good” kids. The truth is, however, that good parents can have any kind of kids-well-behaved kids, poorly behaved kids, calm and confident kids, anxious kids, mentally ill kids, super achievers, underachievers, kids with health problems, kids with learning problems, gifted kids, average kids and all other kinds of kids. Kids are a product of their genes, their communities, their schools, their culture, their family placement, their experiences and their parents’ guidance-among other factors. To claim credit or blame for a child’s outcome is presumptuous on the part of parents. What parents can claim credit or blame for, however, is their own behavior.

Parents can do a good or poor job of parenting: socializing and educating their kids and providing a healthy model for them to emulate. Whether children successfully integrate parental lessons is irrelevant to the definition of a good parent; what is relevant is that the parent has done his or her part in the teaching-modeling process. Whether the impact of parents accounts for only 10% of the adult personality of the child or whether it accounts for 50% or more, also matters little. What matters is that the parent has done everything possible within his or her sphere of influence.