I have had my blog for almost a year, well in October it will be a year.  When I first started out I was on top of it, blogging daily, sometimes a couple times a day.  I think when I got pregnant in March I just lost my patience for it.  I just feel like crap all too often and I am exhausted all the time.  Also back in the beginning of the year Tony and I started 2 hobby blogs.  One was the Casual Culinarian and then ScrappyMommy3for my crafting, scrapbooking and Stampin’ UP! 

Both of the hobby blogs I think did well at first and then we both just kind of got busy with work, kids and our other blogs.  Plus when I got pregnant, I was feeling so sick that I couldn’t even think about being crafty.  At the end of last year I was making handmade scrapbook albums and scrapbooking accessories.  I had an EBAY store and an ETSY store.  Both of which I stopped being active with.  When I became a Stampin’ UP! demo I was making good money on ebay with my paper kits.  I am still selling them but can’t on EBAY.  Oh I forgot to mention I also have an online store, artfuldelight.com where I am trying to sell more scrapbook items.  All of which aren’t doing  very well.  I think most of it has to do with advertisement.  I think I need to get my blogs and websites on some directories, get some directory submissions.  I had my blog listed places before.  Several months ago, shortly after starting the blog, I had a lot of traffic.  Then since I stopped doing all the giveaways and blogging all the time all the traffic stopped.  I am really discouraged that I have not gotten more interest in my scrapbooking accessories and albums and it seems darn near impossible to find people interested in Stampin’ UP! 

I think after I have the baby in December I am going to become more active.  I need to find a way to make money from  home doing the things I love.  Right now I just don’t think I have the energy to be more active in finding Stampin’ UP! customers and sit at my craft table and create cards and scrapbook pages. 

Hopefully I will become more successful when I have a little more time to dedicate to crafting.

I have made some pretty crazy choices in life, from relationships to financial decisions.  It all started when I turned 18 and the credit card apps started pouring in.  I applied and was approved for pretty much everyone.  I didn’t have high credit limits but for my financial situation (married and pregnant and not making more than $10 to support a family of 3) it was enough to put me in financial debt.

Over the last 15 yrs, financially things have just gotten worse.  Being a single mother for most of that I have had to make decisions that would help me care for myself and my daughter.  9 yrs ago I had to file bankruptcy and over the last 9 yrs have continued to make more STUPID decisions. 

One decision was to get together with a man that I knew from when I was in high school.  This was about 9 yrs ago and we were together for almost 3 yrs.  Shortly after things got serious I found out he was addicted to drugs and I don ‘t mean pot. 

I think I have told this story before so I won’t go in to detail because the story of our relationship isn’t really the point of this post.  The point is that when he had to “score” his dope he drove to Chicago…..in my car none the less.  Now that man or shall I say boy went in to the city with at least a $20 bill and never managed to apparently pay a toll. 

Well about 3 yrs ago when we were in Florida and I moved in with Tony and I tried to change my address with the DMV they told me there was a problem with my license in IL.  After long waits and several calls, I found out that this BOY had about 18 toll violations in my car.  When I first found out that was what it was, I thought no big deal, 18 times $0.40 wouldn’t be that much.  HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA!!!!  I was informed that I owed the DOT of IL over $1500.  WHAT!!!!!

Well see here it is, 18 toll violations racked in I guess almost $100 in penalties.  I am not actually sure how it all worked out all I know is they DO NOT work with you to get it paid.  NO deals!

When I found out I immediately called my ex and he REFUSED to do anything about it.  So I thought maybe as the yrs went on maybe it would go away.  I REFUSED to pay for something I didn’t do.  Well when we moved to Virginia and I tried to get a license, I was told I couldn’t because of the issues in IL.  The greater problem is I can’t hope this goes away because my license expires next year.

Tony and I have thought about getting a lawyer.  Mesothelioma lawyers probably won’t be any help, I just don’t know who to turn to.  Do I go to small claims court, hire an attorney?  Will it be difficult because I now live out of state. It just seems like it will be a lot more work than I am willing to put in to it.  I am just floored that I will have to give in and dish out more money, 6+ yrs later to bail him out. 

Between drugs and treatment and supporting his ass when he wasn’t working, I am in the hole with him over $10k.  What was I thinking……I really need to get all my debt paid up so Tony and I can start thinking about buying a home, somewhere permanent.

More often than not lately I have unfortunately not felt like posting.  I mean I have a lot of things on my mind that I couple write about I just can’t seem to organize my thoughts.  Maybe it’s that there isn’t enough quiet time and when there is, I try to catch up on sleeping so I can make it through the next phase of my day. 

Well Tuesday was Tony’s day off and it was also a couple guys Tony met from training over the last couple weeks, day off.  We all have families so we thought it would be great to get together and have a BBQ.  One of the guys has 3 kids and the other has 2 kids.  The friend with 2 kids has a boy that is 2 so he got along great with Lil Tony.  I was really worried about how well he would get along with others.  The only little kids he has to play with is Isabel and he picks on her so I thought he might have a hard time.  To my great surprise the 2 lil boys got along AMAZING!  It was so wonderful to see Lil Tony interact with other lil kids.  It was just all around an amazingly wonderful, relaxing evening.  The men played with the kids and the women sat around and talked.  I think these people were the first set of couples we have met since we have been together that kind of fit what we were looking for in friends. 

What I mean by that is when you have a family you typically need to find other friends that have a family.  We had hung out with a couple that didn’t have kids and it is just not the same.  We have some pretty dysfunctional “families” in our neighborhood so there is no one that we could really hang out with.  I don’t know these couples just seemed like really good people. 

We all had a great time.  Tony said he got a text message yesterday from one of the guys saying that his wife had a great time and that we have to get together again sometime.  I guess the only problem is coordinating days off.  The guys all work for the same company, Tony works at a different store than the other 2 guys but they are all in different departments.  Hopefully we will be able to work out a day off together and get together for another BBQ.

Ever since I went to the doctor the other week and he said that he would perform more than just 3 c-sections I have had a lot on my mind.  When I was first told most to all doctors don’t like to perform more than 3 c-sections and that it would be hard to find one that would Tony and I pretty much had our mind made up that I would get my tubes tied.  So when there was a great possibility that I could have more kids, which we always wanted, I had to weigh the pros and cons to having more.  I guess my problem was just being told I couldn’t have more, I wanted that to be my decision, not one made for me. 

I believe the responsible thing is to not have more, to get my tubes tied.  I just really wanted to have 5 kids.  After talking it over with Tony we decided that even if we had more kids, we wanted to wait for about 5 yrs before having another one.  In 5 yrs when all my lil ones are old enough to go places, go to movie theaters and amusement parks, am I really going to want babies again. 

Today I felt I was put at ease with the whole situation.  I believe I am going to get my tubes tied.  I have the medical coverage now to cover the procedure and the doctor said there was no additional recovery time if they do it with the c-section.  If Tony were to decide to have a vasectomy instead, he would have to get some sort of cheap insurance to cover it.  The insurance through his work is a little expensive.  I don’t want to have to worry about any out of pocket expenses. 

I just think that if I get it done then we don’t have to worry about having any accidents and the decision will ultimately still have been mine. 

I really do think that is the best decision for us.

Today was such a crazy hectic day.  I had to take Tony to work again because I had to get Nicki from the airport.  I can’t believe how fast that 2 weeks went by.  I know she had a great time but I am happy to have her home.  So I took Tony to work at 10:30am and then I came home.  His job is about an hour away.  I got home around 11:30am and just relaxed on the couch.  I couldn’t fall asleep last night until 3am and then was up with the kids at 7am. 

I relaxed on the couch for about 45 min and then decided I needed to get ready.  Dulles International Airport in just over an hour away and since it is a pretty big airport I needed to give myself enough time to make my way through the airport and get to the gate in time for Nicki’s plane to land.  I wanted to go to Target so I left the house around 1pm.  Shopped a little and then got on my way around 2:15. 

Well as usually I over estimated how long it was going to take, I ended up getting there 2 hours early.  Since Tony had to work it was me and the lil ones to make our way through the airport and through security.  OMG I was exhausted by the time I was done.  I brought the double stroller because there was no way I was going to go through the airport without it.  Boy oh boy there is no way that I would need any weight loss supplements if every day were like today. 

Seriously it took a long time to get from the car, to the ticket window to get a temporary pass (to be able to meet Nicki at the gate), through security, waiting for a shuttle to take me to the gate and then the LONG walk down the hall to get to her gate which felt like the last one at the VERY END.  It was all very exhausting. 

Afterwards we had to get Nicki’s checked bags and make our LONG WALK back to the car, drive 20 min away to get Tony from work and then make the hour drive home.  I can’t even believe I am able to keep my eyes open to type all this.  I am/was so tired that I didn’t even really want to eat dinner.  Once the new baby comes I really am going to have to get in to shape in order to keep up with these kids. 

Well we are all certainly happy to have Nicki home,  2 weeks just seems too long!

Nicki will be coming home tomorrow and I am very excited.  I went this morning to register her for school, she starts on Wednesday.  She was happy to find out that she will have a locker.  None of her other schools ever had one.  There are certain shot requirements in order to enter certain grade levels.  Thankfully the one shot Nicki was required to have she got before 6th grade in Florida. 

I will say though aside from my monthly OB/GYN visits, I will need to get the kids to the dentist.  I found a great office close by, southpark dentist.  Lil Tony needs a regular check-up, Nicki needs one too but she will also need to get scheduled for the ortho.  She needs braces bad.  Hopefully I can get all of this taken care of soon.