I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back.  I thought I was doing all the right things to prepare for our move next year.  I have been talking with realtors, looking for daycare, talking with mortgage lenders, etc.  I find out that we are most likely going to be able to buy a home next summer as long as we did a couple key things with Tony’s credit before then.

Long story short financially we can’t take those proper steps at this time.  Ugh.  I feel so deflated.  I started to see if there was some sort of part time job I could obtain to help continue pursuing the proper steps for next year.  Not many jobs available in Winchester.  Maybe I can look for some sort of Caterer jobs.  I pretty much would only be able to work on the weekends so I feel a bit restricted.

I dunno.  I just feel I hit a road block. 

I finally figured out why I am so stressed and overwhelmed about school.  It’s because I have no more chances to complete school.  I have to pass and understand what I am doing.  I can’t drop a class, I can’t afford a bad grade and I am not 18yrs old again.  I have responsibility, my kids and my house.  First and foremost they come first and with kids, ya just never know if something unexpected will come up.  When I was 18 my main responsibility would have been school and working.  Easy peasy, I could have done that with no problems.  Now I have myself to worry about and 4 others.  I worry, will I have enough time in the day to get things done.  AND I have to do well.  In less than one year from now I WILL be employed.  I HAVE to be employed.  Within the next year I have to complete school, organize my house, pack, find a new place for my family to live (in a new state), find a job, and move my family across the country.  On top of that, find a safe and friendly place for my kids to go to daycare after we move and both Tony and I are working.  I am a wreck about having to put my kids in daycare!!!  I have to do ALL of this while keeping my sanity!  LOL!!

I can’t even wrap my brain around the idea that my kids will be cared for by someone else.  Will it be traumatic for them?  Will they adjust easily?  Will it be more traumatic for me than them?  Will we be able to afford daycare?  I mean that was the whole reason I didn’t work for the last 4 years is it is just too expensive to have 3 kids in daycare.  The only difference is Lil Tony will be in school part time.  Maybe we can find a kindergarten that’s all day.  That would be good because then I would only have to worry about 2 kids.  Ahhh, I am just a wreck.  There is just so much that has to be put in order before we move. I know one year may seem like a long time but really it isn’t.  LOL! I hope I can make it through. 

A few weeks ago I had posted about how cool I thought the Amazon.com subscribe and save was but now I think it sucks!  I subscribed to liquid laundry detergent, coffee, and packing tape.  I thought it was awesome, the prices were really great.  I mean the coffee alone was $14 something for four canisters of coffee.  That would last us a month and each canister was only about $3.50 which is substantially less than in the store.  I didn’t save a ton on the fabric softener and tape but the convenience of having it delivered every month seemed worth it.

All is well, first delivery and payment went through great.  Then the second month was about to be billed and shipped and I noticed the prices  were not the same.  The tape was the same and the fabric softener was different by about twenty cents but the coffee was about $10 for the whole month.  Now the average canister would have been about the same as in the store so the convenience still may have been worth it but after I talked to a c/s rep at Amazon I decided I just can’t continue the subscribe and save.  The rep said that the subscribe and save does not guarantee or set the price, it only has the convenience of shipping  monthly on a certain date.  She said the prices will fluctuate with the individual stores prices.  So basically the price could go  up as high as it wants and I won’t get any warning and just be billed for whatever.  I don’t like that idea at all.  I thought every single month I would be billed that same amount and shipped the product.  No such luck!!

I was not happy because the products I was trying to have on subscription and mailed monthly were the items I buy at Walmart.  It seems whenever I go to Walmart for those products I come home with more stuff than I wanted or needed.  I was trying to eliminate the Walmart trip.  Might save me some money.  So even though the coffee and all the other products I had billed were less or equal to the price in the store and I would save on gas driving to the store, it was just the whole idea that they could bill me whatever without telling me first that turned me off to the whole idea.

So now I will need to figure out a way to go to Walmart once a month, buy just what is needed and that’s it.  Once a month trip to Walmart might eliminate the unnecessary shopping and spending.  Let’s cross our fingers it works.  LOL!!

I posted the other day that I deleted a program on my laptop which caused many of my files and folders and programs to just randomly delete.  One folder which was my homework folder was also deleted.  I was devastated.  Tony was able to find a program called Recuva or something like that which scans the computer drives for deleted programs and files.  Well it was a decently long process but I was able to recover some important homework and some of my craft stuff.

When this happened I decided that I needed to organize myself, my life, my computers, and my craft stuff.  I felt so frustrated and whenever I try to do anything it takes me forever to find it.

I began my day yesterday by organizing the files saved on my flash drive.  I had a ton of stuff and it was all over the place, nothing was organized.  That took a small part of my morning.  I proceeded to wash several loads of laundry, fold, and put them away.  I also washed several loads of dishes.

In the afternoon  started on my craft desk.  I haven’t used it in forever (I craft at the kitchen table) and so it became mostly a place that we just threw things.  It was overwhelming.  LOL!

Since we are moving next summer I decided to start packing some of my craft stuff.  I have so much, I don’t want to get rid of but there is no way I will use it over the next year.  Maybe it is a bit pre-mature to start packing but really this next year is going to fly by.  With school and everything, it will be summer 2012 in no time.  So basically I need to pack and organize as much as I can over the next year.  LOL!

So I will hopefully continue my organization today but I am not sure how well I will do.  My back has been killing me the last two days and I all I want to do is sit on the couch.  I do have to run some errands and get some stuff for our family Friday fun night.  Homemade pizza, jalapeno poppers and buffalo chicken strips while we watch Speed Racer cartoons.    I LOVE my family!!

I am going to throw my laptops at the wall!!  Really I just cannot believe how crappy they have been acting.  Two new laptops, well one is refurbished, but still they are newer and they are just sucking!!!  Do I go back to a desk top and maybe get one of those gateway desktops?  I just don’t know, I just want to go back to the days when we didn’t rely on technology so much!!!!

I really just feel bummed.  Tony wants the family to be technologically savvy but sometimes I just don’t like that he doesn’t help me with my computer.  I am sure it’s just because he thinks I know what I am doing but most of the time I don’t.  I really feel upset right now about my whole computer problem.  This is why I am still a bit old fashioned, I like a good ‘ol pen and paper to do EVERYTHING!!!

Uuggghhh!!  I just want to scream!!  We are a family of technology and I am beginning to hate it.  I have spent all day dealing with a screw up I made.  I was uninstalling a program on my laptop and apparently it wasn’t what I thought it was because it started deleting everything on my desk top.  All my homework, craft stuff,  pictures, and files.  I am so angry it’s not even funny!!!  Now I am trying to make this post and my computer is being super slow.  Ugghhh!!!  I need some hard liquor.  LOL!!

Maybe I need to send myself some flowers!  LOL!!  When I did a search for flower delivery it kept bringing up a flowers in Memphis.  One more problem my computer is having.  It is supposed to detect my location and search for companies and services in my area.  I am certainly not in TN.  LOL!!  That is all I can do is laugh about it all because if not I might go crazy.  haha!!

I need to really get myself organized.  I am always trying to do too many things without a plan or any organization.  My homework is all over on my desk top, my craft supplies are all over the kitchen and my bedroom.  I just have no place to organize.  Uggghh!!  I need to rest.  I feel really frustrated!!

Things have really been looking up for us.  Tony and I are doing really well in school, paying our bills on time every month.  Spending as much time with each other as possible.  We have started to be able to save; have a small amount saved up towards our move next year.  Then BAM we get a letter in the mail from the court house, the collection company that bought our account from Suzuki is suing us for a rather large amount.  I cried most of the day after I had gotten the letter.  Not just a little crying, I sobbed!!!  Why!!

The things that pisses me off the most is they are suing us for the total amount of the loan.  We got screwed on the deal, we had this “awesome” promotion and our payments were only $118 a month for 2 brand new 4-wheelers but the problem was that ALL went to interest.  So at the end of the promo time our payments would go up to $197 and still almost all of it would have gone to interest.  We would have been paying on that damn loan for the rest of our lives.  Basically they were charging us like a credit card interest instead of a “auto” type loan with a lower interest rate.

Back in 2007 when we lived in South Florida we had them stolen on Christmas morning.  We got them back but they certainly were not in the same condition.  Plus since they were stolen, I guess that voided our warranty or something so we couldn’t get any help to get them fixed.  So basically we had “brand new” 4-wheelers that didn’t run, didn’t have a warranty and we had to pay over $14k for them.  WTF!!!

Well I am hoping, fingers crossed that our court hearing goes better than expected.  We also know that when they were “repo’d” by either Suzuki or the credit agency they sold them for over $4k for both.  So technically if we take the original price for the 2 of $10k and subtract the $3k we paid in to them and subtract the $4500 (ish) that they got for them we should only owe about $2500.  I will take that over $14k any day.  It will still set us back a little but in the back of my head I KNOW that is the last stupid mistake I made financially.  We have been “clean” for the last 3 years.  Other than a couple credit cards that we keep and maintain/use every month, we have just some small old credit to take care of.

If there is one lesson I will drill in my kids heads is to SAVE, not obtain ANY CREDIT, and live at home as long as possible.  Get their education, save the right way and buy a home right off the bat.  No renting, no throwing money away and maintaining an AMAZING credit score.  Because I have struggled since I was 18 with that.  AND I HATE IT!!!

So let’s just hope we can “win” at court next month.