Have I made a post about this, I guess I could go back through my posts myself and check but quite frankly I don’t feel like it LOL!  Here is the decision that I made.  I am at a standstill with my weight loss.  I am certainly not 100% happy with myself and want to lose more weight, but school is coming and I just think I will have a lot on my mind.  I will still get to the gym as much as possible but I am not going to worry about my weight, well unless I start gaining weight that is.  LOL!

So I feel better when I am all dressed up.  Not in a gown or nothing, just nice clean, matching clothes.  All the clothes I wear now are torn or stained.  Plus when I do my hair, wear a bit of makeup and have a pedicure….I feel great.

So for starters Nicki and I are going to get hi-lights on Tuesday, then sometime over the next 2 weeks I would like to get a pedicure.  I will probably buy an outfit or two and then with my new book bag I will be all set for school.  Now don’t get me wrong this certainly doesn’t mean I will ever wear corsets, as much as Tony may like it, he is SOL!  :-)

I am going to have to get shopping.

My weight that is.  Now does that mean I am not going to try and lose weight, NO!  Does that mean I will stop going to the gym, NO!  Does that mean I am giving up, NO!  Does that mean I am HAPPY with my weight, NO!  What that does mean is I am going to not stress myself so much on what I weigh, what I am eating or when I can get to the gym.

I am going back to school in the fall and I just think I have more important things to worry about.  My weight is important but I am NOT going to stress myself.  I am going to stop worrying about trying to find the best diet pills.  What I am going to do is continue to eat in moderation, try to eat healthy and make it to the gym as much as I can.

I REALLY want to be smaller, lose all the weight, hit my goal and just be happy but I guess that is not something that is going to happen as quickly as I would like!  :-(

That is all I really have to say.  I have taken a boot camp class at my gym and I absolutely loved it.  It was Tuesday and Thursday this week.  The class was held by a former body builder and she was amazing.  She was encouraging without being harsh.  I am still fairly overweight and so this class was certainly rough for me.  I made it through though and boy do I feel great.  I have been sore all week from the class and I look forward to allowing my body to recover over the next 2 days.  I say 2 days because I won’t be able to go to the gym because of Tony’s schedule.

The class was 35 min long and it is almost non-stop cardio, strength training.  Seriously there are parts of my body that are sore, that I have not worked in, well maybe ever.  On a personal note, maybe even TMI, but there is a lot of jumping around that I felt I could participate in more except my chest kept me from doing so.  I had to wear 2 sports bras and still was mildly painful to jump around.  Some of the other exercises were tough because it hurt my knees.  But overall I made it through the 35 min tough class.

They were giving these classes at my local Snap Fitness.  Oh man, I can’t say enough about this place.  All Snap Fitness’ are individually owned and I can say the owner of ours truly wants to make hers gym a pleasant experience.

The gym is one of the cleanest I have ever been to.  It is a 24 hr center which is great for Tony and I, especially with school starting in a couple weeks.  We may be working out in the wee hours of the night.

Not that I go but that have a tanning option.  They are staffed during the day which it seems a good deal of other Snap Fitness’ are not.  We went to one when we visited IL and OMG, it was SMALL, dirty and not staffed.  Which meant while we were there 3 punk kids came in and were just being obnoxious.  It was a bit distracting.

So the recent thing our Snap did was offer a boot camp class.  It was Tuesday and Thursday this week and I think they did it to just get a feel for how many people would be interested.  Unfortunately each class only had 3 people but we are blaming that on the summer and the fact a lot of people may be on vacation.  I am really hoping this becomes a regular class.  Or like Lisa, the trainer, was saying in the fall they may do a 12 week class.  That would be AWESOME.  Unfortunately if it costs money I won’t be able to do it.

Anywho, I feel amazing and can’t wait to see if I lost weight and/or gained any lean pounds this week.  Wish me luck getting through the next couple days too.  My legs are arms are killing me! LOL!!

I am really not sure how well this new plan is going to work out but I am not going to count my calories like I used to.  With all the added activities to come in my life in the near future I am just not sure I will have the time.  With going back to school and all.  I have been doing it all week, just watching what I eat, not pigging out or anything.  My problem is once a month when I get my monthly friend, I crave a lot of sweets/chocolate.  Maybe I am getting mine soon because this week I have had a rough time with it.

Maybe I should get some weight loss pills to take one week out of every month.  Just to curb my appetite.  I mean it’s not like I sit on the couch and eat bon bon’s all day I may eat a handful of M&M’s a couple times a day but that is it.

Or is it that I am destine to be this size forever.  I am about 40 pounds off from my goal.  In the past 2 months I have not gained nor lost.  No matter how much or how little I ear or how much I work out I have maintained my weight.  What gives?

I spend a lot of time online.  Reading my craft blogs, blogging, checking emails and just browsing.  I come across these ads all the time for diet pills that help you lose 5-10 pounds a week.  That is so unrealistic.  I read some lipofuze reviews and they claim that.  I don’t really want to get in to a debate or long post about how I feel about that but from my experience, struggling over the years to lose weight the right way and sometimes the wrong way, I know this is not healthy or realistic long term.

I have struggled and struggled and gained and lost……I just know that pills may help someone lose 5-10 pounds a week but once you stop taking them you will probably gain the weight right back.  You need to lose fat while gaining lean mass in order to do it right.  That is where I struggle.  I really wish I knew the right equation, the right amount of food to the right amount of exercise in order to just shed the weight off.

I am really tired of struggling and working so hard and getting disappointed when things don’t go my way.  I just need to relax and stop stressing so much, maybe then it will all fall in to place.  Who knows!

I think I have come to the conclusion that the weight I am at is my “goal weight”.  I have not fluctuated on my weight in almost 2 months.  I haven’t gained or lost.  I don’t get to the gym nearly as much as I did in the beginning.  I am also not as strict on my eating as I used to be.  What I can say is that I am maintaining my weight which would be a good thing if I was really at my goal.  What to do?

I have read the clinicalliex reviews and it claims to lose a good deal of weight a month.  I just don’t want to rely on anything, taking pills or major diets are not realistic in my life.  I just wish I could lose 40 more pounds and then I would be happy if I “maintained” my weight.  I wouldn’t be so worried but as it stands now, even though I feel a little bit more comfortable with myself, I still don’t like the way I look and feel and when I see pictures of myself I cringe.

So much is going on right now, I just don’t know what to do!!!!

I was able to go to the gym today for the first time in over 2 weeks.  Well I take that back I was able to once while we were on vacation.

Today I worked out for almost an hour.  I did 30 minutes of cardio and about 20 min of weights.  I felt so out of shape.  I was sweating and panting and feeling really rough.  But it felt great to get back in the swing of things.  Thankfully with all I ate over the last 2 weeks I didn’t gain much overall weight I just gained a little bit of fat which can easily be corrected with some working out.

I had a goal I wanted to hit before I went to visit my family and unfortunately I didn’t hit that goal.  Maybe it was unrealistic, I don’t know.  All I know now is that I have a new set of goals.  I will hit my solid goal by the time I go visit again next summer.  I may change my goal a bit if I find out it’s possible to go to visit around Christmas time but we will see.

I want to lose another 67 pounds.  That will bring me to a total of 117 pounds total loss.  It will also bring me to 20 pounds lighter than I originally said I wanted to be.  I think I am just tired of being on the larger side.  I saw pictures of myself from when we were on vacation.  I was still disappointed in what I saw.  I could definitely tell a difference from before I lost any weight but I need to work on my arms and lower abs.

I am trying to get back on track and we started “over” yesterday.  I am sort of counting calories.  Not completely, meaning I haven’t used my calorie counter program on my iPhone but I have calculated it in my head.  I am going to see how that goes.  If I hit a plateau again I will be more precise.  It just seems very time consuming to calculate everything like that and with 4 kids it’s just not realistic.

We will see how this Sunday’s weigh in goes.