Ok, so plans in our little household sort of changed.  We currently rent the house we are living in and last summer I thought I would let our landlords know of  our plans so they had time to make plans with the house.  Well I think that sort of back fired.  I found out on Sunday that the landlords plan on putting the house on the market May 1st.  I don’t totally think they will sell the house before we plan on actually moving.  BUT it will be filled with stress.  The landlord will be here weekly before May so he can get the house in order.  Then showings.  If the realtor needs to show the house we will need to leave the house, keep the house in order and clean all the time.

We are totally not ready to move out of state until December.  We may not be ready financially.  We may not be done with school.  I just don’t know. 

We do know one thing, we won’ t be gardening this summer. We won’ t be worrying much about putting our money in to the yard.  We won’t worry about getting any crabgrass killer.    We won’t be buying any seeds to plant.  We just won’t be worrying about putting our own money in to the house anymore.

Basically this is mildly a good thing.  It has made it so we can’t drag our feet anymore.  We are moving. We may even be moving sooner than expected.  Let’s just cross our fingers nothing happens until after we move.

We have started week 3 of the Spring semester.  I can’t believe this is my last official full semester.  I have two more classes to take that I will complete in the Fall.  With those two classes, in order to make a full time semester I will find two other classes to take.  They won’t be part of my Associates in Accounting but I will take business related classes.

I still have this semester to finish and so far I have done really well.  I am hoping to finish with a 4.0 GPA.  I currently have a 4.0 but anything can happen this semester.  LOL!

I just can’t believe how fast the past 2 years have gone.  Tony and I will have completed 5 semesters of college, maintained our household, our jobs (I now work a part time job and have been since September of last year), and everything else that goes along with our life.

The only thing I feel that has fallen by the wayside is our relationship.  I mean we knew what we were getting in to but I feel we have NO TIME to spend together.  It seems like when we do have any time (like over the break in between Fall and Spring) we didn’t spend any of it alone.  We didn’t go on a date or nothing.  Sometimes I wonder if he wants to spend time alone with me.

When we first started dating, we were only together for about 9 months before we started to have kids.  WOW, that sounds so quick now that I actually say it “out loud.”  We didn’t try very long before I got pregnant.  From that point on I was almost constantly pregnant or healing from a pregnancy for the following 3 years.  Shortly after we had our little boy (2 years ago) we decided to go back to college.  That now brings us to the present.  I just wonder if we really spent any “alone” time before diving in to “parenthood” together.  I was already a parent and entered our relationship with a 9 year old.

I know we have the rest of our lives to spend together.  And I know that what we are doing right now can and will only better the rest of our lives together.  We want and deserve so much more for our family.  I will give it more time before I start jumping to any conclusions.  Before I start worrying we will not be able to make it through life together.  We only have this last semester to go.  Well I guess Tony will continue at a university and I do plan on continuing my education but maybe it won’t be as intense.

Only time will tell, right?

Among so many other reasons to be happy we are moving, Tony will finally have a garage again.  Last time we had a garage, well a useful garage was about 4 years ago.  He used to have one at the house he owned, we had one when we lived in Vegas, and we had one in the apartment we lived in.  The probably with the one in the house in Vegas was we never had any extra money for him to work on his car or any other fun stuff.  The problem with the garage at the apartment was the garage was decently far from our actual apartment.  It sucked to go work on things in the garage.

When we move we have to sell, throw away, or giveaway 90% of our belongings so we can have movers move us and it won’t cost an insane amount.  I told Tony that if he sells all his tools and car stuff that he can get all brand new stuff when we get to Arizona.  Among many new tools and such he will need a millermatic welder.  He has so many ideas in his head of things he wants to make and fix and just be able to do.  He accepted the idea that he will probably never be able to build his dream race car….at least for now, but he is open to all the fun things he can build with the kids.  I am really looking forward to this move!!

Oh my there is so much to look forward to this year.  Graduating college with an Associates in Accounting.  Moving out of our extremely small house.  Moving to Arizona.  Getting real jobs that pay “real” money.  Once we settle down in a house even if it is a rental, we might be able to get “real” furniture.  May sound funny but right now our kids are just too young to buy anything expensive or nice.  So we sleep on half ass beds, our kids sleep on mattresses on the floor, and we have old busted up chairs for the dining room table.  Among other things we just don’t have really nice furniture, other than our leather couches and beautiful dining room table that we built.  Maybe we can get some barnwood furniture and nice bedroom sets, as well as living room furniture.   We haven’t had  a coffee table in over 4 years.  Crazy huh!!  Oh well, in time we will have all the nice things we want.  I REALLY do feel good things are in our near future. 

I have so many things going through my mind.  So many changes.  This year is going to be good.  I can’t believe we have already made it through the first 2 weeks of this semester.  Time is flying.  Only 14 weeks left.  After this semester I only have 2 classes to take to complete my Associates in Accounting. 

Tony and I decided that we may not buy a house when we first get out to Arizona.  There will be so much going on I don’t think we will be able to get everything to fall in to place.  I’m a little bummed.  But I agree, there will be so many things going on I just don’t think we will be able to work it all out.

I am kinda excited though that I will have a little longer to save for a home.  A little longer to get our finances together.  I have been “house shopping” and most houses I look at are perfect.  There doesn’t need to be anything replaced or upgraded.  I am not sure if we would be better buying a foreclosed home or just a fixer-upper.  Maybe replace the tile, a new kitchen, and  a new bathroom vanity.   What will cost cheaper?

I just feel a bit relieved but also sad.  To think that we will go another year (so two years from now) before we settle down and buy a home.  Oh, well I think things really do happen for a reason.  Maybe this was all meant to work out this way. 

Oh how excited I am that Christmas is over.  I am not happy that my hours got cut at work but I am happy that the hustle and bustle of the month is over.  I felt really overwhelmed.  Now this week’s check will be nice but still….not sure I could have done that another month.

Many parents out there spent tons of money on the latest and greatest of toys.  Went to the store with a list in hand and stressed about getting THE right toy.  Tony and I played the game a little different.  With 4 kids we certainly could not afford to go hog wild on gifts.  I know what my kids like and I got what we could afford.  The best part is the toys they loved the most are these $3.50 flashlights and some $5 book bags.

Tony and I have discussed on numerous occasions that we don’t want our kids to be raised thinking Christmas is about the gifts.  We want them to understand the holidays are a time to be with family.  To spend quality time together.  If we start them off young not getting in to the hype of all the expensive gifts then it won’t be so bad as they get older. 

Back in my high school years I had experimented with drugs.  Nothing too hard core, just the basic social drugs.  It wasn’t until I started to date a guy I had known since I was like 13 years old.  No we didn’t start dating until  was 21, so don’t  you worry about  that.  But he told me he did heroine but only occasionally and  that he could stop at any time.  I trusted what he said.  I trusted until I found some bottles of methadone in his draw.  That was when I found out that he was a drug addict and needed help.  I was scared.  I had just left my husband and I had  a 2 year old daughter.  I didn’t want  to leave him because I thought I needed to be the good  girlfriend and stay by his side.  I tried to help him but I think I was just making it worse.

Every week we went to a methadone detox rehab treatment center to get tested and his weekly doses of methadone.  I NEVER once touched it and I am so thankful.   The things I saw him go through terrify me and I can’t even think of heroine without thinking of those rough 3 years.  I made excuses to my family why he never came around.  I would make excuses to him why I  thought he shouldn’t come with me.  The few times he did come to a family function I  am sure my family could tell he was high.  They never said anything and I think back now and I feel completely embarrassed.  Embarrassed I put myself, my daughter and my family through any uncomfortable situations.

I finally decided that I needed to leave.  After 3 years we went our separate ways.  I could no longer stay by his side.  I am thankful I made that decision.  I am with a wonderful man, I have 4 wonderful children and I couldn’t ask for a better life.  I know now  that I should have gotten out of the relationship the minute I heard “methadone.”