Back in my high school years I had experimented with drugs.  Nothing too hard core, just the basic social drugs.  It wasn’t until I started to date a guy I had known since I was like 13 years old.  No we didn’t start dating until  was 21, so don’t  you worry about  that.  But he told me he did heroine but only occasionally and  that he could stop at any time.  I trusted what he said.  I trusted until I found some bottles of methadone in his draw.  That was when I found out that he was a drug addict and needed help.  I was scared.  I had just left my husband and I had  a 2 year old daughter.  I didn’t want  to leave him because I thought I needed to be the good  girlfriend and stay by his side.  I tried to help him but I think I was just making it worse.

Every week we went to a methadone detox rehab treatment center to get tested and his weekly doses of methadone.  I NEVER once touched it and I am so thankful.   The things I saw him go through terrify me and I can’t even think of heroine without thinking of those rough 3 years.  I made excuses to my family why he never came around.  I would make excuses to him why I  thought he shouldn’t come with me.  The few times he did come to a family function I  am sure my family could tell he was high.  They never said anything and I think back now and I feel completely embarrassed.  Embarrassed I put myself, my daughter and my family through any uncomfortable situations.

I finally decided that I needed to leave.  After 3 years we went our separate ways.  I could no longer stay by his side.  I am thankful I made that decision.  I am with a wonderful man, I have 4 wonderful children and I couldn’t ask for a better life.  I know now  that I should have gotten out of the relationship the minute I heard “methadone.”

Christmas will be here in less than a month.  I think I am done with my Christmas shopping.  We decided not to get a bunch  of stuff for the kids knowing in less than a year we will be getting rid of it.  Nicki we got an e-reader and some clothes.  For the little ones I just got some random stuff.  I gave Tony money to put towards his gun.  He bought me some scrapbook storage suitcase I wanted.  Once Tony and I have “real” jobs and we can afford “real” gifts then I might buy him a nice watch.  Maybe like a citizen watch.  I can’t wait until we can afford some better gifts for each other.    When we met he used to wear a watch all the time.  I bet he would like a watch. 

I just can’t believe Thanksgiving is over.  We had a great day!!!  Now to focus on finishing this semester and getting things together for Christmas.  Nicki will be home this Christmas and I am super excited.  I bought a bunch of presents for he kids a week ago and now I just need to get some stuff for Nicki.  She mostly wants clothes.  We are trying to convince her she wants an e-reader too but for some reason she doesn’t seem interested.  She needs some new shoes too, maybe some justin boots, who knows.  All I know is we aren’t going to go all out for Christmas this year.  Oh, I totally forgot, when I was at work last week the nicest lady came through my line and she was buying some wooden puzzles.  The puzzles rang up for a penny which items frequently do and when I mentioned it she was in shock.  She mentioned that I needed to get some before they sold out.  I advised employees are not allowed to take advantage of the penny deals.  So she went back and bought 7 puzzles and she left me her phone number.  I worked late so I called her the next day.  We met down the  street and she gave me the puzzles.  I though it was SUPER nice. So that is more presents for the kids.  I think I just need to get a few things for lil Tony and then Nicki’s stuff and we will be set. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, Tony and I both have off, and I feel like crap!!  I am not sure I can handle being sick all day because we have a lot of cooking to do.  I wanted to craft and make some Thanksgiving projects but that won’t happen.  Heck I barely feel like sitting up on the computer.  I have been trying to think of home decor projects that I can make for our new place  when we move.  Maybe I can re-purpose some plaques.  I recently acquired a charger plate from Michaels.  It was broken so I got it for like $0.33.  I just have to glue it back together and cover up the cracks. Will try and post pictures when I am done.  But with that it got me thinking about finding some other cheap “as is” things to  buy and fixing them up.

Well off to drink some hot chocolate, snuggle in bed, and watch some NCIS!!!

….our ATV’s that is.   We had to give them back almost 2 years ago now.  We had been through hell and back with them.  When we moved to South Florida several years ago some punks stole them on Christmas morning.  We ended up recovering them but they were pretty beat up.  We probably would have had to get some new rzr parts and such to fix them up.

Since we weren’t riding them we had drained all the oil, but the jerks that stole them rode them without the oil. In addition, we had the keys in the house so they had to hot wire them.  Oh boy there messed them up.  But we couldn’t afford the payments so we had to give them back. Maybe one day we will own some 4-wheelers again. 

When I was younger I had nice skin, nice hair, I was skinnier, and I just had nicer features.  LOL!!  Over the years those features have gone to shit.   I guess with my aging I should think about aging cremes and taking care of my skin.  I have given it a lot of thought and I think I might sign up for the gym again.  The winter is coming which means no chance at all to go for walks or anything.  My body is getting old and overweight.  My body aches and has lots of pains.  I need to do something.  It seems like there are serums and ointments for everything.  Heck I even saw one the other day for eyelash growth serums.  What??  LOL!!

Anywho, I have never really been in to ointments, creme, makeup, etc but I guess if I don’t want to age horribly then I need to do something about it now.

I can’t believe that Christmas is less than 2 months away.  The Fall semester is almost over too.  Before I know it Spring semester will be coming to a close.  With that said, we could be moving very soon and I don’t feel prepared.  I have been trying to put as many hours as I can in at Michaels.  Whenever they call me in, if I am not in class, I try to work.  Tony has even made comments about going down to a local restaurant and trying to get a Chef or Head Cook Jobs.

Any extra money would certainly help.  We still haven’t decided if we are going to move over the summer or in December next year.  I am really hoping it works out for us to leave over the summer.  I am just not sure I can handle staying in our house for another year.  Financially it seems like the right thing to do, I just don’t want to.  LOL!!